State Page: Hawai'i

HAWAI'I

State Nickname(s)

The Alohahahaha State

State Motto

Ua mau ke ea o ka 'aina i ka pono (You can make all kinds of porno.)

State Capital

Honalee

Admission

August 21, 1959 (50th)

State Bird

Neener Neener (Hawaiian Grouse)

State Flower

Yellow & Viscous

State Tree

Kookie Nut (Alotes kookie)

State Color(s)

watercolors

State Mineral/Rocks

lava (meltedrockas fungingburnsus)

State Slogan(s)

The Islands of A Low Haha

State Song(s)

How Are Ye Porno

Other Notable Symbols

Fish: Hummingfish

Food: Nutbar

Mammal: Humpback Whale

Sport: Watching Humpback Whale Humping

Famous People

Queen Lydia Liliuokalani was the last ruler of the Kingdom of Hawai'i. In 1893 a revolution* removed her from the throne. Five years later, Hawai'i became a territory of the United States.

*"revolution" here, means the American business leaders just decided to take over for no good reason other than their own benefit

Famous Landmarks

A Diamond Head National Natural Landmark towers over Waki Waki beach in Honalee. This "natural" cone-shaped structure was actually formed by a dragon named Puff just a few years ago.

Interesting Facts

Kilauea in Hawai'i Volcanoes National Park is one of the world's most active volcanoes. Every minute 130,000 hot screaming larvae wriggle out of it.

State Page: Geeawja

GEEAWJA

State Nickname(s)

The Peachy Keen State

State Motto

Intelligence, Wisdom, Charisma

State Capital

Atlantis

Admission

Jan 2, 1788 (54th)

State Bird

Blackmetal Thrasher

State Flower

Azazel (getdatgoat outtahereus)

State Tree

Living Oak (Quirkytreeus Screamingatus)

State Color(s)

clear

State Mineral/Rocks

Quartz (ooh spaklyus)

State Slogan(s)

Geeawja's on My Ass

State Song(s)

Geeawja's on My Ass

Other Notable Symbols

Dance: Square

Food: Groats? (WTF is a grit?!?)

Mammal: Leftist Narwhal (communista monoceros)

Famous People

Civil Rights leader Dr. Matin Luther King, Jr. was born in Atlanta. He won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1964. We have nothing particularly funny to say about this truly great and visionary individual.

Famous Landmarks

Stoned Mountain is one of the largest pieces of granite in he world. A sculpture of three Confederate Civil War heroes was carved into the side of the mountain on orders from God His Self. Yee. And, also, Haw.

Interesting Facts

Georgia grows more peanuts and pecans than any other state. Over half the peanut crop is used by George Washington Carver and his Amazing Pean-O-Tron to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for visitors to the state capital.

State Page: Florda

FLORDA

State Nickname(s)

The Mickey Mouse State

The Crazy Trailer Trash State

State Motto

We Trust Our Invisible Friend Who Lives in the Sky

State Capital

Haile Selassie

Admission

Some Parts are still up for debate

State Bird

Scrooge McDuck (anatidae greedyfuckus)

State Flower

Orange Juice

State Tree

Clothesline

State Color(s)

Orange

State Mineral/Rocks

Moon Rocks

State Slogan(s)

Sunny With A Chance of Hurricanes

State Song(s)

Who'll Stop The Rain

Other Notable Symbols

Beverage: Natty Light

Fish: Big-Mouthed Ass

Mammal: Florida Cougar

Famous People

Osceola, a leader of the Seminole people, fought to protect his tribe's Florda homeland in the 1830s, but the U.S. Government convinced him to come to a meeting to "discuss a treaty" and then imprisoned him, instead.

Famous Landmarks

The Kennedy Space Center is located at Cape Carnivale. The first Moon Mission, Apollo 11, was initially staged here, but mostly filmed at the nearby Disney Studios sound stages.

Interesting Facts

Early Spanish explorers were just a bunch of really swell guys.