Thursday, March 22, 2012

State Pages: Mess of Two Shits

State Flag Depicting Native in a World of Shit
(Note the sword about to come down on his head.)
State Nickname(s)
The Haahbaah State

State Motto
Ense petit placidum sub libertate quietem (Can't get any peace, except at the library.)

State Capital

Feb 6, 1676 (666th)

State Bird
Wild Turkey

State Ship

State Tree
American Err, Umm (Ummus, err aahhh Americum)

State Color(s)
Blueberry, Cranberry, Greenberry

State Mineral/Rocks

State Slogan(s)
We Made It Ours, Go Get Your Own!

State Song(s)
Crazy Train

Other Notable Symbols
Fruit: Them Apples (Howu likem)
Insect: Barfly (Drunkis barbituate)
Marine Animal: Rightist Whale (Cetacea limbaughus)

Famous People
Theodore Geisel, born in Springfield, wrote a number of popular children's books, such as That Cat Has My Hat and Tim Horton Hears a What, Now? He wrote under the pseudonym Herr Doktor Süß.

Famous Landmarks
Hahvid Univehshitty is the oldest college known to man. It is believed to have been founded somewhere around 136 BCE.

Interesting Facts
Native Americans and "Pilgrims" feasted on spam, goose, moose, spam, lobster, sushi, spam, turkey, and smap at the First Thanksgiving Dinner. Afterwards, the so-called "pilgrims" set to work "cleansing" those who had helped them survive that first, brutal winter. Sometimes history just sucks. And so do white people.

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